


His Negligence

by Rawrlove19



Series: A Brother's Negligence [1]
Category: Janoskians
Genre: Aftermath, Crying, Depression, Gen, Regret, Remorse, Suicide, Twins, dont read if you hate unhappy endings, im a terrible person for writing this, suicide note, will post alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-09 22:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10423056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawrlove19/pseuds/Rawrlove19
Summary: "Luke, where are you?" I hear my older brother's voice question me through my phone. "You need to get home now!""Someone had better be dead!" I joked back."That's the problem."-I was in a haze as I rushed home. I had gotten into a fight with Jai before I had eventually stormed out of the house a few hours earlier. It's funny that now when I've lost everything, I can't even remember how that fight started.When I arrived home, paramedics were removing a sheet-covered body on a stretcher. It was then that the news had finally set in.Jai had killed himself.I never even got to say goodbye.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sad ending. I will be posting an alternate ending that's happier if you don't like this one! Sorry for writing this, but I'm a terrible person.

"Luke, where are you?" I hear my older brother's voice question me through my phone. "You need to get home now!"

"Someone had better be dead!" I joked back.

"That's the problem."  
-  
I was in a haze as I rushed home. I had gotten into a fight with Jai before I had eventually stormed out of the house a few hours earlier. It's funny that now when I've lost everything, I can't even remember how that fight started.

When I arrived home, paramedics were removing a sheet-covered body on a stretcher. It was then that the news had finally set in.

Jai had killed himself.

I never even got to say goodbye.

"No! Please! I need to say goodbye!" I cried as I tried to go after the body of my dead twin brother, but I found myself held back. I turned to see my older brother with a tear-stained face of his own.

"Luke. You need to calm down." He tried soothing me, but it didn't help.

"No!" I continued to scream. "I need Jai! I need to see him!" I knew I was hysterical and throwing a fit in the middle of the street, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I just needed Jai.

"It's okay, Luke." I heard Beau say as he crushed me to his chest. But I knew that was a lie. Jai had killed himself and it was all my fault.

"No, Beau!" I screamed. "It's not okay! My twin brother is dead."

"Hey, he was my brother too!" Beau yelled back angrily.

"Yeah, well he was my twin!" Beau didn't understand. "He was my other half. We've basically been a package deal from the womb."

"Luke...." Beau looked at me with sad eyes.

"No..." I whispered, breaking free of my brother's hold and running in the house. I immediately ran to Jai's room.

It looked just like it had hours before, but so different at the same time. It had a different overall feeling to it. It felt like no one was ever going to use it again, but at the same time I half-expected Jai to run in and yell at me to get out of his room.

I felt hot tears start to fall down my face. My twin brother was gone. Dead. And there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn't a good enough brother. I could've of stopped this from happening if I had just been there for him. He had always been there for me, but the moment he needed me I told him to get lost. I treated him like he wasn't worth my time. 

I saw a glint of something near his bed. Curiosity got the best of me, so I walked towards it to find out what it was. It was a broken picture frame. A picture of me and him from the last time we were both truly open with each other. That was before I decided that looking after my twin brother was uncool. Before I pushed him away for good.

We both looked so happy. So full of life. Jai had an expression of true joy hidden in his features, although we were posing. Now that I think about it, I don't remember seeing that happiness light up his face in I don't know how long. 

Jai had always had such a soft smile. It could make anyone's bad day immediately turn around. He ended up losing that smile, though. And it was my fault.

I turned the frame over to find a note taped to the back. I somehow knew that it was meant for me. I tore it off and unfolded it.

"Luke, if you're reading this then that means I'm dead." It started. I already had tears pouring out of my eyes just from those words alone. I didn't want to read Jai's last words. It meant that I truly had to accept that he was gone, but I owed him that much. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry. For everything. I know I let you down by leaving you like this, and I'm sorry. I never wanted to abandon you, but I had to. I couldn't take living life like this for much longer. I know I was majorly annoying you with my depressed attitude and I don't blame you for staying away and avoiding me. I actually prefer it this way. This way, I didn't have to drag you down with me. I am sorry, though, for leaving you. Just, please, don't blame yourself for my death. You did nothing wrong. And know that I love you, Luke. You were the best twin brother I could have asked for. Love always, Jai-Jai."

My tears were uncontrollable at that point. I hated myself for never noticing that something was wrong with him, but I knew I couldn't hold it against myself. He said in his letter that he didn't want me to blame myself. So I wouldn't. It wouldn't take time to stop thinking of the what-ifs, but for now I had to be strong for my older brother and mother so this never happened again.

Jai was too strong for too long, but when he broke he had no one to catch him when he fell. I won't let anyone else I care about fall. I wish I could've caught Jai when he fell, but it's too late for that now. My twin was dead.


End file.
